Cup O' Ambition

So the only reason why I haven't complained about my pants is because i've taken to wearing the bigest pants I own as often as possible.

At work my two most shining moments of late have been purchasing really good candy and suggesting a bigger keychain for the ladies room keychain.

Of course if i'm not happy I can do something else. I have two choices. 1) I can be an account manager or 2) I can choose what's behind curtain number two. No one knows what's behind curtain number two. It could be a Fun Fabulous Career in marketing or it could be a years supply of turtle wax.

Clearly I am losing my mind. I swear my post was there twice just a minute ago. It was.

um. I hate her so much I posted twice....?

GOD! I fucking hate her! Little Napolean. How can one person be so insidiously evil? She is Tracy Flickx10. She is Leona Helmsely in training. She is the fly in my ointment, the crusty layer on my pudding, the sand in my spinach, the stain on my favorite sweater, the rock in my shoe. Have I made myself clear?
My hatred for her is surely shortening my life.

pants today, just right.

I'm listening to Bjork. In Icelandic. I'd like to say her voice and songs and emotions transcend language barriers. But i can't. I have no frigging idea what she's talking about. But I like saying the words Gling Glo.

this new girl, the one with the brown shoes and socks. sometimes i hear her talking on the phone and i think she's speaking another language. which surprises me. then i listen closer and hear she is in fact speaking english.

you know this isn't a public forum for you to air your hostilities and sexual angst. it's a place where i can jot down my hopes, fears, dreams, likes, dislikes, weight gains, poems of butterflies and unicorns. I'm a sensitive person. sometimes sensitive people can't be bothered with the world of spelling and grammer you squasher of piglet . Shouldn't you be deposing something?

recycled from whom??? myself? I am plagiarizing myself on MY own blog???
You sit for two days straight in pants that are way two tight and see how much else you can think of. Besides the name of this blog says it all. You knew what you were in for when you entered.

As far as your chili goes...blow it out your ass.

I can't work in these pants.

and the worst part of today is that these new pants are possibly tighter than yesterday's.

My boss gives me things to do and no matter what i come back to him with he wants something else. I mean he never chooses the first thing presented. ever. I've only discovered this today. After two years. So i'm thinking from now on I will give him a throw away choice first and my first choice second and see how things work.

the new girl. she's wearing brown shoes and socks with a black shirt. it's all wrong. it's aalllll wrong. Who hires these people? First it was sue with the yellow clogs, purple socks and eating disorder. Now this. when will it end?
My hands are numb. perhaps it's from my pants being too tight.

My Pants are too tight. I ate salad for lunch. I think this will help. When I brag to S that I ate Salad for lunch she accusingly asks me what was on it. Like I had coated it in chocolate sauce and sprinkled it with M&Ms. I was highly offended. But then admitted I was eating Swedish Fish.